Friday, February 26, 2010

Lack of Poise

I would consider myself an extremely introverted person. Taking the role as a pastor’s wife and leader for women in our church really forced me out of my comfort zone. Especially when acting as a hostess (whether I was entertaining in my home, directing a ladies meeting or hosting a Mother/Daughter tea) and I felt I was more in the spotlight. Since I was out of my comfort zone I had to push myself into the role I was trying to fill. Oftentimes afterwards I would think “Who was that? That wasn’t me.” I was playing a role out of my nature character. I was lacking poise.

So when I read this excerpt from Eugenia Price it really gave me something to think about......."Most often we will find our state of mind and actions are lacking poise. And later we may fuss at ourself…..”I tried to keep calm. I tried to control myself, but when he let me have it. I just…..” -OR- “How can I overcome this terrible shyness?”

These two illustrations may seem contradictory but they are basically like. In one the person couldn’t control her temper and the other couldn’t control her shyness. One seems “worse” than the other. But both instances show a definite lack of poise. No one is going to be perfectly poised all the time and under all circumstances. We must accept ourselves as we are. We are not someone else. You are you and I am me. Here again, disciplining our conscious mind which God has given us is the answer. Does that mean you force yourself to be quiet or force yourself to speak aloud (like I was doing)? No, we must cultivate the habit of remembering who it is who has come to live within us. And rely on His Poise! The quiet that comes from the knowledge that He is there will in time restore our poise.

This does not come overnight. Developing a habit is a slow—sometimes discouragingly slow—process. But because of the way in which God created your conscious mind, it is never a hopeless process. You can depend entirely upon Him. Even after you have fallen down, in the matter of the cultivating the habit of poise remember that Christ lives within you and just keep look to His Poise."

So I must be willing to cooperate with my conscious mind and form the habit of remembering that I am on this journey with God, Himself.

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