Yes, unresolved issues usually come back. It troubled my heart this morning just about as much as it did last Saturday. But God is good! This time with some wise insight from a friend I was able to see clearly to the heart of the matter.
At first my thinking believed it was an issue of forgiveness/unforgiveness. But when talking to my friend it became clear it was an issue of approval/rejection. The unresolved issue was something I had done--I wanted to be a blessing to someone but it wasn't received that way. In fact, instead of it being a blessing, the receiver's dignity of independence was bruised. It all turned into a strong disagreement. The whole matter went unresolved by saying we'll have to "agree to disagree."
There may be some issues where you can "agree to disagree" like political opinion, likes/dislikes, methods & procedures etc, where for the sake of the relationship you let the subject drop. In these situations you are dealing with are opinions and its okay to have a difference of opinion. Not everyone has to think like we do all the time.
But in this case "agreeing to disagree" was like sweeping it under the rug. When she didn’t like what I had done my feelings festered into hurt and rejection. What I confused as unforgiveness in my heart was really feelings of rejection and disapproval. I learned today I cannot look for approval and acceptance from others only from God. He is my source of approval.
Sometimes we must accept we aren’t responsible for how other people react. If you come into a situation like this where you have to “agree to disagree” be sure what you have done was with the right motives. Remember to do things as unto the Lord then no one may offend thee and always seek God as your source of approval.
This also reminds me of a saying I have posted right above my computer. “Who I choose to love makes me who I am. Not whether those people love me.” See how God was good! I could not change how the situation remained but He worked these things out in my heart.
At first my thinking believed it was an issue of forgiveness/unforgiveness. But when talking to my friend it became clear it was an issue of approval/rejection. The unresolved issue was something I had done--I wanted to be a blessing to someone but it wasn't received that way. In fact, instead of it being a blessing, the receiver's dignity of independence was bruised. It all turned into a strong disagreement. The whole matter went unresolved by saying we'll have to "agree to disagree."
There may be some issues where you can "agree to disagree" like political opinion, likes/dislikes, methods & procedures etc, where for the sake of the relationship you let the subject drop. In these situations you are dealing with are opinions and its okay to have a difference of opinion. Not everyone has to think like we do all the time.
But in this case "agreeing to disagree" was like sweeping it under the rug. When she didn’t like what I had done my feelings festered into hurt and rejection. What I confused as unforgiveness in my heart was really feelings of rejection and disapproval. I learned today I cannot look for approval and acceptance from others only from God. He is my source of approval.
Sometimes we must accept we aren’t responsible for how other people react. If you come into a situation like this where you have to “agree to disagree” be sure what you have done was with the right motives. Remember to do things as unto the Lord then no one may offend thee and always seek God as your source of approval.
This also reminds me of a saying I have posted right above my computer. “Who I choose to love makes me who I am. Not whether those people love me.” See how God was good! I could not change how the situation remained but He worked these things out in my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment